You never realize what you have until it's gone
by penguinsskrp
Summary: Leonard gets frustrated at Sheldon, but then something happens that could change their worlds forever. After an accedent leaves Sheldon "damaged" will Leonard find a way to bring the old Sheldon back or will their friendship be forever lost. r&r please!
1. I didn't expect the unexpected

It was a beautiful day, the sun was shining, the birds were chirping and Leonard was driving him and Sheldon to work. That was until of course a thought had popped into Leonard's head.

"So Sheldon, I've been thinking, about you and Amy?"

Sheldon, who was sitting in the passenger's seat as, usual, peered over at Leonard. "Yes?" he asked curiosity evident in his voice.

"Well you two have known each other for a while now, and you've been going out, and I was just starting to wonder when you two, are you know, going to do it?" Leonard asked a bit shyly, this was definitely not something he wanted to talk about right now but it had been on his mind lately and he figured there's no time better than the present.

"Do what?" Sheldon asked oblivious to his question. Leonard had the sudden urge to smack his forehead.

"I mean, you know, sex?" He said glancing at his roommate. This however seemed to grab Sheldon's attention by a long shot.

"What? Me have sex with Amy? Certainly not! I mean why would we? We're perfectly content with how things are; besides Amy's a virgin and it would be highly inappropriate for me to do such a thing!" Sheldon said with defiance. Leonard held his hands up in defense, but quickly placed them back onto the steering wheel.

"Alright, alright! Look all I meant was sooner or later you're going to have to, I mean if you're planning on taking this relationship any farther; sex is the first step." He said.

"Well it maybe your first step, Leonard, but it certainly isn't mine." Sheldon said looking out the window. Leonard looked over at him.

"And just what is that supposed to mean?" He asked feeling a since of frustration rise inside him.

"Well, given all your past relationships, sex seems to be the one thing that they all have in common, - make a left- I mean take Penny for example, every time you to get back together you have sex." He said.

"What? That is not true! And Sheldon I know where we're going!" Leonard shook his head, why couldn't it be Rajesh or Howard he was driving to work.

"It is true and you know it."

Leonard let out a sigh. "No it isn't and look we're talking about you and Amy not me and Penny." He was getting more frustrated by the minute.

"Fine, but let's not talk about sex – take the next right"

"I know which way to go! And fine let's not, let's just not talk about anything, okay?" Leonard all but shouted

"Well . . . you don't have to be rude." Sheldon mumbled.

Leonard threw him a look but then regretted it. "Look, Sheldon I'm sorry ok? I'm just a little frustrated." Or a lot, he thought glumly.

"Well, ok apology accepted but- make another left- I think the option to talk again should be put up for vote." He said, and Leonard lost it.

"I know where we're going Sheldon!" He yelled. Sheldon looked over at him a bit surprised by his outburst.

"Well if you know where we're going then –Leonard LOOK OUT!" Sheldon yelled.

Everything seemed to suddenly slow down in Leonard's mind. He had just taken his eyes off the road for a second to look at (or glare in this case) at Sheldon. But then something happened and Sheldon's face turned from indifference to fear. He yelled something but, Leonard's mind wasn't fast enough to process it. Within seconds he felt the car hit something hard and his eyes just barely caught sight of a semi in front of them, its body to fare out in the road to swerve. They lurched forward and Leonard grabbed a hold of the steering wheel. His head slammed against the wheel and pain coursed through his body. He briefly heard a yelp from nearby but he wasn't sure if it was him or Sheldon. He didn't have time to finish his thought though, as the car suddenly started to twist on its side. Leonard closed his eyes as he braced himself for the impact. Darkness suddenly came over them, only Leonard was lucky enough to pass out.


	2. Pain

**A/N Sorry this chapter is really short, I'll try and make the rest longer :) anyway thanks for the review so far! **

_Pain._ It was the first thing that had run through his mind. A throbbing, coursing pain that went throughout his body. Yet, it was his head that held the most pain,_ a migraine wouldn't be able to compare_, he thought. Noises suddenly blasted his ear drums and his eyes flashed open. Leonard was looking up at the sky, confusion on his face. _What had happened?_ He couldn't remember. The noises turned into voices and a woman suddenly appeared in front of him. She had brown hair and was wearing a paramedic's uniform, she called to him.

"Sir? Sir, can you hear me? Move your fingers if you can." Leonard moved his fingers and she smiled warmly at him, but he could see the concern lingering in her eyes. A man suddenly appeared beside her in the same uniform. He quickly looked Leonard over then yelled something to someone else. Leonard frowned. _What's going on? What happened? _ He tried desperately to remember.

"What's going on?" he asked feeling helpless.

"You were in an accident sir." She said. _An accident? _He thought, and then suddenly it all came rushing back, the car crashing into another car, his head hitting the steering wheel, Sheldon yelling for him to look out – _Sheldon?_ Leonard's mind whorled as he began to panic. _Where is Sheldon? _His mind started to scream as he franticly looked around him for another stretcher. The woman pushed him gently back down.

"Shh, it's alright, everything's going to be fine, sir." She said but her expression wasn't nearly as confident.

"Where's Sheldon?" He asked in a rush. She looked at him, confused. "My friend, where is he?" He tried again. This time she seemed to understand and her face suddenly turned sympathetic. _That's not good, why is she looking at me like that?_ He briefly thought.

"Where's Sheldon?" He tried again, but she only looked at him sadly. They started to lift him into the ambulance. Leonard flipped, his mind was racing, and he needed to know if Sheldon was ok.

"Wait! Where's my friend?" He shouted. The woman hopped up beside him as did the other man.

"Give him morphine that should help with the pain." He said. She nodded and started to gather a syringe.

"No! Wait! God damn it! Well someone please tell me where my friend is!" He yelled. The woman and man exchanged looks. Leonard started to sit up, but the man pushed him back down.

"And give him a sanative while you're at it." He said. Leonard glared at him and was about to say a nasty come back when he felt a small prick in his arm. He looked over to see a needle in him. The woman looked at him almost guiltily. He could already start to feel his body become num, so he didn't even notice the second shot.

"Please, please just tell me where my friend is, tell me where Sheldon, tell me-" His speech slurred together as the sanative took effect. His eyes became heavy and he inwardly cursed himself for not holding out any long, because it looked as though the woman was about to say something. He closed his eyes and sleep took him over.


	3. Dreams and nightmares

**A/N Thanks so much everyone for the reviews! :)**

Leonard was dreaming. It was a strange dream, one that involved flashing lights, loud noises and . . . fear? Yet, it felt so familiar, he had been driving and then the next thing he knew he was face to face with an angel, at least that's who she thought she was. She was dressed in a white uniform and telling him everything was going to be ok. So what was wrong? He didn't know, but he could _feel_ it. The noises suddenly started to come back and the angel disappeared, leaving him in the dark. It was becoming loud now and he covered his ears. He felt cold and alone as the darkness swallowed him whole. The sound of a loud explosion or maybe a crash blasted his ears. The ground beneath him began to sway and suddenly he was falling. The fear encircled him and he let out a yell.

Leonard's eyes flashed open just as he hit the bottom of where ever he was falling. The fear left and the pain came back. His brain throbbed against his skull. He looked around briefly, blinking as it was so bright. He couldn't make out much though as he didn't have his glasses on. But the walls looked white, as did the ceiling and the floor and the bed he was lying on. Leonard looked done, why was he in bed. _Why am not in _my _bed?_ He thought. Suddenly he realized where he was, a patients room, his room. Leonard looked himself over briefly confusion clouding up his mind. He looked ok but just to make sure he wiggled his toes and moved his fingers. _So nothing looks broken, or feels broken? Why am I in here?_ He thought. _But I do feel like a giant bruise. _Abruptly someone caught his gaze. A woman with blond hair was sitting in a chair beside his bed, asleep. Though her faced looked ragged and her hair was messy and she was in her cheesecake uniform as though she was in some kind of hurry. _Penny. _His mind instantly recognized her and a sense of comfort came over him. _But why is she here?_ Penny unexpectedly stirred and shifted slightly, her eyes opening briefly, but they didn't close. Penny froze mid shift and stared back at him. Then-

"Leonard!" She cried, no longer sleepy but wide awake. "You're awake! Oh, Leonard." Penny said a look of relief coming onto her face.

"Hey." He let out a small smile. "Yea I'm awake and so are you." He said a bit amused by her reaction. Penny smiled back but it quickly vanished and she looked at him with concern.

"How do you feel? Can I get you something, do you want a nurse?" She asked in rush. He shook his head.

"Penny." She took his hand. "Why am I in the hospital?" Penny suddenly looked down.

"You were in a car accident." She said and Leonard could just now start to see the red of her eyes. She had been crying. His gut twisted in guilt. _An accident?_ He thought, and again his memory came back in a flash. The car, his head, the paramedics, the ride in the ambulance, it all came back. This time he understood why he was in the hospital. He frowned. Penny patted his hand.

"I'm just glad you're ok." She said smiling weakly, she looked tired. Leonard briefly wondered how long she had been here, how long he had been here. "Here" she handed him his glasses. Leonard put them on and it was like a whole new world. Everything was white like he thought but now he could see details. The small TV in the corner, Penny's jacket on the back of her chair. Her red eyes still wet from her tears. A few cards and a small stuffed animal on a nearby table that said get well soon. Leonard looked at them in confusion.

"Who brought those?" He said pointing to the table.

"Raj and Howard." She said smiling slightly. "Howard brought you a card and Raj got you the stuffed animal." Leonard shook his head but he felt a smile tug at his lips. His friends could be annoying and eccentric sometimes but they were still his friends and they cared about him. His friends. His _friends? Oh no! Wait! Where's Sheldon? _He thought frantically.

"Penny, where's Sheldon?" He asked, his mind was racing now. He had almost found out back in the ambulance but the drug had taken effect before he could ever get his answer. He was more determined than ever now. Penny's eyes suddenly averted his gaze.

"Leonard you were in a wreck." Her voice was gentle and small."You hit a semi." Leonard just listened, his eyes fixed intently on her. But he understood, it was one thing to hit a car but another to hit a semi. Most people didn't just walk away from it unbroken like he had. No, he was lucky.

"The car took a turn and you flipped, it rolled a few times and then landed in a ditch." Her voice was just a whisper now. "The paramedics showed up a few minutes later and dragged you out." Tears swelled up in her eyes. "Then they got Sheldon." Silence, she wouldn't look at him anymore. She closed her eyes as tears started to run down her face. Leonard just stared at her; he didn't know how to respond yet. He _couldn't _respond yet. _What is she telling me? That Sheldon is dead? No, it can't be, it's impossible. Sheldon's the smartest man I know, he can't be gone. Something like this couldn't take him away, could it?_ But as much as a genus Sheldon is, he was still human. Leonard felt the fear hit him like a bullet and the floor started to sway and suddenly he was falling, crashing into the ground. His mind suddenly went back to his dream and he no longer saw the angel but the grim reaper. The fear encircled him once more and he let out a yell.


	4. Still hope within the reapers hands

**A/N Thanks for the reviews everyone, I really appreciate it! And here's a cookie for The Legend of Derpy * hands cookie* I didn't want to spoil the surprise but you guessed it :) I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

Penny was staring at Leonard; the man hadn't made a sound since she told him what happened. She was still holding his hand, but Leonard was more or less clutching it, as if he were afraid to let go.

"Leonard?" She asked attentively. She had stopped crying long enough to get a good look at him. His brown curly hair knotted and coiled against his head. His eyes wild and frightened, almost childlike in a way. He had bruises from head to toe and scrapes and scratches all along his body. There was a bandage around his head and an IV in his arm. She felt the tears rise to her eyes again and she looked away once more.

Leonard's voice suddenly pierced the air, it was careful and it faltered as he spoke, his own eyes no longer meeting her gaze.

"Just tell me, is he really gone? Or is this some kind of sick dream I'm having?" He asked, but Leonard feared he already knew the answer; he just wanted to hear her say it. For the words to actually exist because in his mind they didn't, they couldn't.

Penny looked at him for a long moment, confusion coming onto her face. _Gone? _She thought. _Why would Sheldon be gone?_ As if the thought just hit her, Penny suddenly realized what Leonard must be thinking. _No one's told him yet have they? _ She started to shake her head violently, guilt rising inside her.

"No, no Leonard, Sheldon's not gone." She said smiling, but fear gripped her as she realized that the alternative wasn't much better. Leonard's head whipped up and he stared at her almost testing to see if she was telling the truth.

"What do you mean?" He asked skeptically

"Sheldon's not gone, he's not- dead." She hesitated afraid to continue. Relief washed over Leonard like he was a dying man in the desert. _He's not gone! I knew it! Ha! I knew it! You can't get rid of a genus that easily! _Leonard grinned happily at her. But a thought suddenly stuck him, and the grin started to fade.

"So, where is he?" He dared to ask. Penny sighed.

"They didn't want me to tell you, the doctor said-" She started in a hurry.

"Penny." Leonard cut her off and pinned her with a look. She paused for moment then took in a shaky breath.

"Leonard, Sheldon's in a coma."

He gazed at her, silence filling the room again. But his mind was working a million miles an hour._So Sheldon really isn't dead! But a coma? I can't believe any of this! Why did this happen? Why…? _His brain continued to try and understand, to analyze the facts, to figure through the data. But he couldn't do that with this, because as much as Leonard wanted to solve this problem like an equation, it wasn't. It was life, and things happen sometimes that no one has control over. _An unexplainable variable_, he thought.

Eventually he found his voice again. "I want to see him." He said, Penny looked worried.

"Leonard, you were just hit by a car that could have killed you, I don't think getting up is such a good idea." Suddenly a tall man with light brown hair walked in.

"It wouldn't be a good idea." He said. "Hi, Dr. Shoultz." He held out his hand to Penny and she took it. "Penny" She said. Then he looked at Leonard and smiled sympathetically, he glanced at a clip board in his hand.

"And you must Leonard Hofstadter." Leonard nodded. "Well you are one lucky man Mr. Hofstadter." He walked over and looked him over more closely. "How's your head feel?"

"Like I got hit by a semi" He answered dully. Dr. Shoultz shook his head.

"And it should, you took a nasty hit, you're lucky it wasn't any worse or- " He paused exchanging a look with Penny. But Leonard guessed what he was thinking._ Or you could have ended up just like your friend, in a coma._

"Well I've put him on some pain killers," He said turning to Penny, but then turned to Leonard. "but you have a minor concussion, nothing to serious. You should be fine to go home by tomorrow, but I wouldn't rush things, such as walking or running." Penny and him nodded. Then Dr. Shoultz said a quick goodbye and tuned to go. Once they were alone Leonard spoke up.

"I still want to see him." He said. Penny nodded.

"Ok, but not tonight, you need to get some rest, I'll take you over there tomorrow." She said.

"Okay and Penny, thanks. I know none of this can easy for you." Penny looked as though she were about to cry again. She smiled and leaned down to kiss him on the cheek.

"Just get better, okay?" Leonard nodded. "I'm gonna go find Raj and Howard, they'll want to know you're awake." With that she gave him a small smile and walked out the door, leaving him alone once more.


	5. Why couldn't it have been me?

**A/N Thanks for the reviews everyone! :)**

It was dark when Leonard woke up, a piercing pain in his head. He tried to fall back asleep but evil dreams seemed to await him behind his eyes. It was a routine that had been going on for hours. He would wake up because of his head or some horrible dream and then he would fall asleep. But only for a short while, until a nightmare or a throbbing nerve woke him again. He let out a small sigh and glared into the dark. _Why can't the sun hurry up and get here?_ He thought aimlessly. Earlier Penny had left to go find Raj and Howard. Leonard had been on the verge of closing his eyes when the two had burst through the door. Both almost attacking him with a hung, but stopped a few feet away. Excitement, relief, concern, and joy lingered in their eyes and faces. The two had stayed for awhile and eventually Penny had showed back up and the three stayed until the sun started to go down. Howard and Raj chatting away. But the time flew by too fast and soon Raj and Howard had to go. They said goodbye and promised to come back as soon as the sun was up. Eventually Penny left after Leonard determinedly told her to leave, that she needed her rest. Once Penny had gone though he was left alone and the silence was almost disturbing. However he soon fell asleep, but it was interrupted when events of the past few days seemed to make their way into them. The last one had been the worst though, in this one, Leonard had lost his hearing, Penny had found a new boyfriend and Sheldon was dead. He shuddered at the last thought. _I hope Sheldon's alright. _He inwardly cursed himself for dreaming such things, but the fear wouldn't leave.

Penny showed up a few hours later, still dressed in her cheesecake attire. She smiled at him and sat down in her seat beside him.

"Hey." She said

"Hey."

"So how are you feeling?" She asked.

"Pretty good, except my head is killing me." He said, wincing a little because of the pain.

"Oh, do you want me to get a nurse?" She offered. He shook his head, if anything he deserved what he was getting. He had put a lot of thought into the previous and he was starting to come to the conclusion that the whole thing was his fault. He decided to change the subject.

"So, you're here offal early?" He said frowning slightly, not that he didn't mind her being here; in fact he rather enjoyed it. It just proved how much she cared about him.

"Yea, well, I never left." She said looking guilty. "Surprise!"

Leonard's frowned deepened. "What do you mean you never left? Did you get any sleep last night?" He asked concern in his voice.

"Of course I did, just not at home."

"So where did you sleep then?" He questioned.

"In Sheldon's room." She said quietly. Leonard just looked at her.

"I wanted to check up on him one last time before I left, but when I saw him I just couldn't bring myself to leave him. So I sat in a chair and I accidentally fell asleep." She said. Leonard understood, he probably wouldn't have been able to leave either if had been in Penny's position.

"So how is he?" He asked. She hesitated briefly as if trying to find the right words.

"He's. . . okay. Nothing seems to be wrong." She said. Leonard nodded.

"So then can I see him?"

Penny looked at him for a long moment. "Leonard, are you sure you want too?"

"Yes, Penny he's my best friend, I have to." He said.

"Oh, alright." She sighed."But how about you have something to eat first, hmm?" She asked. Leonard wasn't sure if he could eat anything at the moment and keep it down, so he shook his head. Penny didn't seem to like this answer.

"Well you should, you haven't eaten anything since the accident." Again Leonard shook his head. "Please?"

"No, now I'm fine Penny."He said, but she wasn't about to give up that easily.

"No breakfast, no Sheldon." She said stubbornly. Leonard looked stuck, and then he gave in.

"Ugh, fine." Penny smiled triumphantly.

"Great! Now just hold on I'll go get a nurse." She said walking off into the hall. Leonard let out a sigh, he briefly wished that Raj and Howard would hurry and show up.

A few minutes of tracking down a nurse and ordering food and then having to wait for a half hour while it was being made and Leonard finally had his breakfast. He ate fast so as to hurry up his wait. But he was suddenly interrupted by a voice.

"Wow, I haven't seen you eat that fast since you're grandma came to town for Thanksgiving." Howard said stepping through the door, followed closely by Rajesh.

"Hey guys."Leonard said.

"Hey." Raj and Howard both said.

"So how's the ol' head?" Howard asked.

"Eh, it's had better days." He said, trying to hide the fact that it hurt so much.

"Yea? Well, that sucks." He said, Raj nodded in agreement.

"At least you've got your memory; most people with concussions lose their memory for awhile." Raj said.

"Yea that's true." Howard said. Leonard quickly finished the rest of his food.

"I'm done." He said to Penny, holding out his tray like a child who proudly finished his dinner, even the vestibules. Penny took his tray but looked reluctant to let him go. Leonard started to sit up.

"Hey, whoa, hey! What are you doing?" Howard asked with worry.

"Getting up." Leonard stated as if it were obvious.

"Well, yes, but I mean why, isn't it risky?" He said.

"Yes, it is."Penny stated staring at Leonard as if he had grown a second head.

"Look I have to go." He said to her.

"Go where?" Raj asked.

"I have to go see Sheldon."Leonard said with defiance. Both Raj and Howard got quiet.

"Leonard, I just don't think this is such a good idea." Penny said desperately.

"Look I'm going and that's final, now are you going to help me or not?" He said getting frustrated.

"Yeas but- oh fine here, give me your arm." She said lifting it over her shoulder. Leonard stood for a second, his body half leaning against Penny's. Then suddenly his legs started to give out and he quickly sat down once more. Penny frowned.

"Howard, go get that wheel chair from the hall." She said, and Howard obeyed. He came back a few minutes later with a wheel chair in his hands. Leonard looked surprised.

"You're going to push me?" He asked.

"Well I'm certainly not going to carry you, if that's what you think, Leonard you can barely walk." She said and Leonard nodded. They quickly worked together and got him into the wheel chair.

"Are you two coming?" He asked. Raj and Howard shook their heads.

"Well go later, I'm just not sure we- I mean Raj can take going in there so soon." Howard said looking sad; Raj gave him a look but also nodded in agreement.

"Okay, see you guys later?"

"Yea." They both said in unison. They all started to walk down the hall, but they split when Raj and Howard headed for the elevator, leaving the other two behind.

"Where are they going?" Leonard asked.

"The gift shop," Penny said. "They like to hang out in there until they feel like they can come back up again.

"So they just stay in there all day?"

"Well sort of, at least that's what they did yesterday." She said. Leonard though about this for awhile as Penny pushed them down the hall. Eventually they stopped in front of a closed door. Leonard took in a deep breath.

"Are you sure you want do this?" Penny asked one last time, he nodded. She opened the door and pushed them in. Leonard braced himself for what he was about to do. For who he was about to see.


	6. It should have been me

**A/N Love the reviews everyone! Thanks! :) And I'm not sure how many more chapters there'll be but I know it's not going to end soon :) So anyway I hope you all enjoy this chapter just as well! **

The room wasn't nearly as bright as his, with the windows drawn and the lights dimmed. It was as if they were purposely trying to make it look bad. The walls were white like his and he even had a little table off to the side like his. But the room was still drastically different. Instead of just having one machine beside him there were three. Sheldon lay perfectly still in his bed, the blankets pulled neatly up to his chest. An IV in his arm and an air tube was in his nose. His head was wrapped up similar to Leonard's. His left leg was hanging out wrapped tightly in a cast. Cuts and bruises lay along his body and one eye looked to be swollen. Leonard was sure there was more but he couldn't bring himself to look anymore. He turned his head away a feeling of guilt and helplessness came over him. His gut twisted and he could feel his throat tighten. He forcefully blinked the tears away. Penny was watching him carefully. She grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

"I'm so sorry Leonard." She whispered, not sure what else to say. Leonard didn't say anything for awhile, he just watched the little heart monitor screen. The numbers staying the same. _This is all my fault, I should have watched what I was doing, I let this happen. And now my best friend is in a coma because of it. What if he doesn't wake up? Then what? No! I can't think like this! Sheldon will wake up, he has to._ They stayed in the room for a good half hour until a nurse came in, she smiled at them and then set to work checking all of Sheldon's vitals, once she was done she walked over to them.

"Everything seems to be ok." She said to Penny, it was obvious the two had met before.

"Thanks Trista." Penny gave her a small smile.

"Is there anything I can get you two?" She asked. Penny shook her head.

"No thanks." Trista nodded and spared Leonard a quick glance.

"Everything's going too been fine, you'll see, just give him a few days." She said to him. Leonard barely acknowledged that she was there he was so lost in thought, but Trista seemed to understand. She looked at Penny once more and briefly smiled, and then she turned and left. Penny walked over and sat down in a nearby seat, quietly watching them. Leonard took his time looking around the room; Sheldon had some cards, along with a stuffed animal as well. Despite how he felt Leonard couldn't help but smile at this, he rolled his wheel chair over to the table to which they laid on. He could see the names of the people who had brought the cards. Howard, Penny, Bernadette, Amy. Raj had brought the stuffed animal. Suddenly a loud noise went off and Leonard jumped. Penny franticly searched around her body until she pulled her cell out of a pocket, she gave him an, _I'm so sorry, but I have to take this_ look. She then got up and left the room closing the door silently behind her. Leonard looked back over at Sheldon and wheeled his chair a few more feet closer so that he was beside his bed.

"Hey, buddy." He whispered, he had read somewhere along time ago that you could talk to people in a coma and they would hear you. He wondered if Sheldon could.

"I bet you're wishing we were at the comic store right now, I know I do." He said trying to lift the mood, but it wasn't working. "So listen, I – I'm so sorry Sheldon, I never meant for any of this to happen and I would take your place in a heartbeat, you know I would – I just wish I could fix this, but I can't." Leonard could feel the helplessness creep up on him, it was almost resigned now. "But you can fix this; I know you can, hell you can fix anything. So if you can hear me buddy, I need you to wake up." Tears were in his eyes now and his throat was tightening. "Please wake up Sheldon, please." At that moment Penny walked back in, her own resigned look on her face. Leonard looked over at her.

"So who was it?" He asked. Penny hesitated.

"It- it was Sheldon's mom, she's flying here right now." She said. Leonard averted her gaze. _Sheldon's mom's coming? Great, now what do I do? There's no way I can face her! Not after what I've done, she'll hate me! I don't understand why they don't all hate me? Amy, Bernadette, Howard, Raj, even Penny! I don't deserve there pity, I don't deserve to even be awake! I deserve to be in a coma, I deserve to have every bone in my body broken, hell! I might even deserve to be dead!-_

"Leonard?" Penny said. Leonard's thoughts died in his head he looked up at her.

"Uh, yea, okay . . . good, that's good." He said a bit distracted. Penny nodded.

"So, do you wanna stay or?" She seemed unsure of what else to suggest. Leonard gave it some thought.

"Why don't we go home?" He said. Penny nodded again.

"Okay, if that's what you want." In truth Leonard just didn't want to be here when Mrs. Cooper arrived. Penny walked over and grabbed his chair, pushing him towards the door. Leonard gave one last fleeting glance at Sheldon's still form, he briefly wondered if he would see him again anytime soon. He looked down, trying to hide his face as a tear escaped his eye.


	7. Before

**A/N Okay, so I know this might not be what you all were hoping but I just had to include this, for Penn's sake :) anyway I hope you enjoy! **

**Previously . . .**

Penny had just finished cleaning off three tables and was taking a mini break, she glanced around her at all the moving people, some coming in others going out. Briefly she wondered when her little gang of nerdlings would come in, she smiled at the thought. They were crazy, slightly annoying and definitely weird, but they grew on you. So much so that she was even dating one. She wished they'd show up, she already missed him and his geeky corks. Suddenly here ring tone went off and she hurriedly searched for it. She looked up embarrassedly as eyes peered at her from across the room. She quickly answered it.

"Hello?" She asked, it was definitely not someone she knew. "Yes, this is she?" Penny's face dropped in a matter of seconds, her legs suddenly feeling weak. "What? What do you mean – yes – but- wait! Are they ok?" She waited for answer. "Okay, thank you." With that she snapped her phone shut. Penny glanced about her finally spotting who she was looking for. She marched through the room weaving between tables and snatching Bernadette by her arm. Bernadette looked at her with surprise.

"Penny? What is it? Is something wrong?" She quickly asked, Penny nodded but didn't dare speak, she could feel her throat tightening as she dragged the two of them out of the building in a hurry.

Once they reached the car, Penny took a deep breath. "Leonard and Sheldon were in a car crash." She said, a hand flew up to Bernadette's mouth. "No." she breathed in, "Are they okay?" Penny shook her head, she didn't know. The nurse on the phone said they were but she had a feeling she was just saying that. Bernadette glanced down.

"I wonder if Howard and Raj know?" She said, Penny shrugged, unable to find her voice. A worried look came onto Bernadette's face. "Or Amy? Do you think she knows?" Penny just looked at her, she almost hoped Amy didn't because if anything she didn't want her to feel how she, herself felt now. Bernadette pulled out her phone. "I'll text her." She said, Penny just nodded and wiped the tears from her eyes. She threw the shift into drive and floored the gas.

They arrived at the hospital almost fifteen minutes later. Penny pushed through a crowd of people and threw open more than eight doors until she reached the emergency room. She flew to the secretary's desk, but froze. What would she say? _Hello, I'm Penny and I'm here to see my boyfriend and friend, they've recently been in a car crash and I would like to see them? NO!_ _That definitely won't work!_ She thought.Bernadette, sensing that Penny was having a meltdown suddenly spoke up.

"Um, hello." She said shyly.

"Hi, may I help you?" The nurse answered, her head stuck in a pile of papers.

"Yes, um where here to see a Leonard Hofstadter and Sheldon Cooper." The nurse still didn't look up.

"Name?" She asked. Bernadette quickly glanced at Penny. "Only family can get in." The nurse added, Penny suddenly seemed to snap out of it.

"Um, yes I'm Mrs. Hofstadter and this is his sister." She said pointing to Bernadette. The nurse suddenly looked up, glancing suspiciously at them. But then she let out a sigh, putting the papers aside and standing up.

"Right this way."She said, leading them down a hallway. Penny took a deep breath when they reached a fork in the halls. Bernadette leaned closer to her, "Are you sure this is going to work?" She asked eyes wide with the fear of getting caught. Penny frowned at her, "shh!" she said. The nurse tuned to them.

"He's right down the hall, Room #368." She said already walking away from them. Penny turned to Bernadette. "Of course I'm sure, we made it this fare now didn't we?" Bernadette nodded. "Let's go."She said leading them forward. Once they reached the door, she took in another deep breath, and Bernadette grabbed her hand for support. She turned the knob open and stepped in.

Raj and Howard jumped out of their seats at the sound of the door opening. But neither one was prepared to come face to face with Penny and Bernadette. Howard quickly walked over to them, Raj hot on his heels.

"Hey, you guys got the call to?" He asked. Bernadette nodded and Howard suddenly pulled her in for a hug. Penny ignored them, her eyes locked on Leonard's sleeping form. Howard tuned to her.

"You okay?" He asked concern in his voice. But Penny wasn't, it was if she had been holding everything together until this one moment. She let go, and a sob escaped her, tears streaming down her face, her legs becoming jello. She suddenly felt hands support her and Howard placed her in a chair, Bernadette still holding her hand.

"Leonard." She sobbed, and Bernadette knelt down beside her.

"It's okay, Penny, every things going to be okay." She said feeling her own tears fall from her eyes. Penny abruptly looked up.

"What happened?" She asked. Howard put his hands in his pockets and glanced at Raj.

"The nurse told us they hit a semi, but that's all we know." Penny nodded that's all she knew either.

"So how'd you get in her?" Raj and Howard exchanged a devious look.

"We lied, and said we were his brothers." He said, Penny looked at Raj and frowned.

"And she bought that?"She said to him. Raj frowned.

"I sold that." He said. "And just because I'm Indian, doesn't mean we can't be brothers." Howard rolled his eyes.

"I said he was adopted." Raj threw him a glare. "What?"

"Whatever." Penny said not really caring. "So where's Sheldon? Is he okay?" Howard and Raj both looked down.

"They wouldn't let us see him." Howard said.

"Why? Because you're not family?" Penny guessed. Raj shook his head.

"No, because they took him to the emergency wing" He said, Penny frowned.

"So does that mean something seriously bad happened?"Howard shrugged.

"I don't know." He said, and silence started to fill the room.

"So how long have you guys been here?" Penny asked after awhile.

"About a half hour before you two showed up." Howard said, Penny nodded. They all stayed silent for awhile except for a few menial comments here and there; eventually Raj had to go to the bathroom and Howard decided, if reluctantly, to go with him. Bernadette started to get up as well.

"I'm starting to get hungry." She said. Howard nodded.

"Me too."

"Maybe we should go find a cafeteria or something?" Raj suggested.

"Yea, okay, Bernadette you in?" Howard asked. She nodded but then looked down at Penny.

"You wanna come?" She asked. Penny shook her head.

"You guys go, I'm not hungry." They all looked suddenly reluctant to leave her.

"You sure, you'll be okay?" Howard asked.

"Yea, you guys go, okay?" Howard nodded and then grabbed Bernadette's hand. They started to exit with Raj as the third wheel. He gave her a small wave as he gently closed the door. Once they were gone Penny got up and pulled a chair over close to Leonard's bed and sat down. She smiled warmly at him and gently ran her fingers through his hair. She let out a sigh; everything had started out good today, a few customers, with the promise of her boyfriend and his posse showing up later. And then maybe she would go back with them and hang out for awhile, somehow engaging in one of their silly video games. She smiled at the memory. Then that night she would fallow Leonard to bed or maybe he would fallow her and she would fall asleep safe in sound in his arms. But all that had changed. A tear ran down her face and she leaned over, careful not to touch him anywhere than his face. She placed a gentle kiss on his lips and then his cheek. _He feels warm_, she thought, _he feels alive. _She leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, hoping that the next time she opened them Leonard might be awake, _or maybe I'll wake up from this horrible nightmare. _


	8. Before continued

**Previously continued . . .**

Penny woke to the sound of a door shutting; she looked up squinting through the darkness. Howard and Raj were standing a few feet away.

"Hey" She said groggily, Raj gave her another small wave, but neither two said a word. Penny guessed something was wrong.

"What's up guys, where's Bernadette?" Howard started to fidget with his pants, putting his hand in his pockets and then taking them out. Raj just stared at the floor.

"Bernadette decided to go." He said, Penny frowned.

"What? Why?"

"Amy called; Bernadette's staying the night with her." Howard avoided her gaze. Penny felt her heart sink at the mention of Amy._ How could I be so stupid, let alone selfish? Oh, poor Amy, she must be feeling terrible … maybe I should go see her too?_

"And there's something else." Howard said glancing back at Raj. "We saw Sheldon."

Penny stared, waiting for them to continue, but they didn't. Both seemed perfectly content on staying quiet.

"So? How is he? Is he okay?" She asked. Howard again started to get fidgety.

"He's okay per say in which the state of matter is physical." Howard said nervously, Penny just looked at him like he had dropped from the sky.

"I'm sorry, what?" Howard let out a sigh.

"Uh, have a seat Penny." He suggested feeling the weight and pressure of what he was about to tell her.

"I'm already sitting Howard." Penny said tiredly.

"Right, well then you won't mind if I do." He said quickly sitting down.

"Howard what is this all about? Is Sheldon okay or isn't he?" Penny asked already feeling frustrated.

"That's what I'm trying to tell you, he's okay physically, well sort of minus a few broken bones, a bump on the head and the occasional scratch, he's fine." He said in a rush. "But mentally?"

"He's not so fine." Raj said and Howard threw him a glare. Penny looked between them both.

"So what's wrong with him mentally?" She asked. Howard took in a deep breath.

"He's in a coma." Penny gapped at him for a few seconds trying to find her voice, somehow lost among the many suckish things that had happened so far.

"What? A coma? Oh my god you can't be serious? Sheldon, in a coma? That's impossible." Shock suddenly took over. Her hands covering her mouth as another sob threatened to break through. "Oh my god, Sheldon, no." She whispered, her eyes immediately flying to Leonard. _Oh Leonard! I can't believe any of this has happened and Sheldon? Why? I'm so sorry Leonard. _She closed her eyes tightly, already imagining Leonard's reaction when he found out. She could feel her heart breaking for him.

"What-what about Leonard?" She asked, not quite sure what to do now. Howard's eyes dogged between her and Leonard.

"You, you mean tell him?" He faltered already seeing the disastrous outcome this would have. Penny nodded.

"Well- if he asks just- just tell him you can't tell him because the doctor didn't think it would be good for his health." He said, Penny frowned.

"You mean lie to him?"

"Well yea, that does consist of not telling him the truth." He said.

"I can't do that, not after all that's happened." She said feeling a tear slid down her cheek.

"Look I'm not saying that were going to keep it from him forever, just until he's ready." Raj looked at him.

"And you think he'll ever be ready?" He asked, Howard suddenly looked stuck. "Dude this is his best friend were talking about, that's not really something you can prepare for."

"Raj is right, either way it's not going to end good."Penny said. Howard let out a sigh.

"Fine, tell him, but not right when he wakes up-we don't want to send him into a coma either." He said joking slightly, both Penny and Raj glared at him.

"You're right, I'm sorry that was uncalled for." He quickly said.

"Look why don't you to go get some rest? I'll stay here."

"All night?" Howard said glancing at Raj.

"Yea."

"Well, okay, but you'll call us if anything happens, right?"

"Of course, now go." She said shooing them towards the door.

"Alright, well, bye." Howard said and Raj waved. The two silently slipped through the door and closed it, leaving Penny _almost_ alone in the dark. She walked back over to her chair and sat in it. She glanced once more at Leonard's resting form, then she closed her eyes, sleep coming quickly to her.


	9. Nurses

**A/N Thank you so much everyone for the reviews! I love all of them! And I am so, so sorry I haven't updated lately! I'll try and update more soon! Anyway thanks again and I hope you all enjoy! Oh! And I rather enjoy adding little flash backs or whatever these are :P but I promise it'll go back to the present real soon! Thanks!**

**Before continued . . .**

Penny was again awaken from her sleep, only this time it wasn't a door but a startling shuffling sound. Her eyes dodged around the room, only for a short stout figure to come into view. An old lady with dark hair moved quietly from Leonard's IV to its bag hanging nearby. It was obvious she was a nurse, but she had still scared her. The nurse however paid little attention to her, going about her business as if she wasn't even there. Yet every now in then she would throw Penny little glances, making her feel even more uncomfortable under her gaze. Eventually she couldn't take it anymore and when it seemed obvious that the nurse wasn't going to leave soon and that she had long since finished her job and was just stalling, she got up. The nurse gave her a quick look but then turned away. Penny stood awkwardly for a few minutes wondering if she'd get the hint. Unfortunately it didn't seem to work and she was beginning to get tired of the scrutinizing glances.

"Um, excuse me? Um, hi I'm Penny, Leonard Hofstadter wife." She lied and the nurse studied her quietly. "Um yes well I was just starting to wonder –uh- how much longer do you think this is going to take? I mean not that I don't appreciate it – I'm sure Leonard does to- but I'd- we'd really like it if you'd leave now?" She finished even more awkwardly than before. The nurse let out a sigh.

"You have not eaten, you should go." She said in a strange accent. Penny stared at her, definitely not expecting those words to come out of her mouth.

"Uh, what?"

"You have not eaten, yet your friends have; now you must." She said pointing at her and then the door. "Go, I will watch him for you while you are gone."

Penny was having a hard time wrapping her mind around this._ Wait? What? Didn't she hate me? I mean isn't that what all those looks were for? Or maybe I missed judged? Or overreacted? Ugh! Why couldn't this be so much simpler? Leonard I need you? I can't take crazy foreign nurses! Not after all that's happened! . . .I miss you. _Penny let out her own sigh, she was exhausted and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she was starving. So after a few more useless minutes of standing around she gave in.

"Really? You'd do that- for me?" She asked and the nurse spared her a small smile that almost seemed kind. "Well okay, um thanks." And she started for the door, glancing one more time at Leonard before opening the door. Reluctantly she left; almost fear full that she wouldn't be coming back. But she closed her eyes tightly and told herself that she was and that Leonard wouldn't want her to starve herself because of it.

Once she reached the elevator she questioned where she was going, almost wishing she had gone with Howard, Raj, and Bernadette. She quickly stepped in and pushed a button, within seconds the doors closed and the shaft began to descend downward. When the doors opened again she was looking into another long hallway. Stepping out she tried to find the nearest map-on-a-wall. It didn't take long; the map read that she was on the same floor as the cafeteria. _Just my luck,_ she thought dryly. Heading down another even longer hallway she started to see signs hanging about. _Restrooms, exit, plastic surgery clinic, staff . . ._ The list was endless. _Ah ha! Cafeteria!_ Turning left and rounding another corner she reached two giant doors. Pushing them open she was greeted heavily with the aroma of coffee and something else she couldn't identify. Even now, close to midnight, the place smelled like the nearest star bucks. She let out a sigh and let her gaze travel over the large room. There were a few people here and there; a lone man sitting in one seat near the back, head down, coffee mug in his hand, a couple sitting much closer to the front, the woman's eyes puffy and red. Penny felt her heart sink; the cafeteria looked more like a morgue than anything. She started to walk over towards the food, ignoring the couple as she passed by. As much as she was hungry she scrunched up her nose as she realized that most of the food was stale if not bad to eat by now. So she settled on a warm cup of coffee, _the only thing warm in here_, she thought, a stale biscuit with butter and a banana. Frowning she walked over to one of the many tables, choosing to sit as far away from anyone as she could. When she was done with her food she silently threw it away, glancing once more at the couple and lonely man in the back, she slipped through the door. Back in the hallway she made a bee line to the nearest elevator. Hopping in she pressed her floor number and the doors closed quickly. With a slightly less than full stomach she hurried out of the elevator, suddenly eager to get back to Leonard. _Oh! I hope he's okay! What If he woke up? Oh god, what if I missed it? What if- what if that nurse hadn't really been a nurse after all! Yes! That's it! Ohhh! That evil little- if she did anything to hurt my Lenny! I swear I'll-_ Her thoughts were cut off clean as she stopped dead in the hallway, her eyes instantly locking on a room nearby. Silently she moved forward.

There in the room, not even twenty feet away laid Sheldon. Penny let out a loud gasp as her eyes looked him over. His body was rigged, his foot wrapped tightly in a cast, machines and hoses hooked up to him, his head was wrapped as well, burses and cuts covering his body. Penny could feel her legs beginning to grow weak and she reached for the wall. Her eyes caught the door and then the door handle. Without any hesitation she grabbed the door knob and pushed it open, quickly stepping in. She stood there for some time, frozen to the spot. Tears were streaming down her face, but she wouldn't let the sob escape her throat. She had to be strong, for her, for Sheldon, for Leonard. Slowly, making tiny baby steps, she egged closer. Once she reached the side of his bed her legs seemed to give out and she fell to the ground. Kneeling so that she could see him, Penny pulled herself up. Suddenly there was a loud-

"Ahem! Just who do you think you are?" A nurse with black hair, a tall lanky body and a frown plastid on her face, snapped. Penny, still shocked from the previous started to cry even harder now. The nurse's scowl quickly faded and she rushed over to her.

"Hey now, it's going to be alright." She said helping Penny up and into a chair. Penny just looked at her with sad eyes.

"Thank you." She managed to mumble out. The nurse smiled.

"What's your name sweetie?" She asked.

"Penny."

"Ah, well hi Penny, I'm Trista, Trista Ochre." She said standing up straight. Penny smiled slightly. "Look I didn't mean to startle you, but no one's supposed to be in here." Penny nodded, but stayed silent, her eyes scanning the floor. The nurse let out a small sigh.

"He's your friend aint he?" She asked, Penny nodded once more looking up. "He aint your boyfriend is he?" She asked with a frown. Penny couldn't help but smile now, but she shook her head.

"No – he's my boyfriend's friend." She said. The nurse nodded.

"Ah, I see."

An awkward silence seemed to fill the room as both women weren't really sure about what else to say.

"Look, I guess you can stay here if you want, but just so you know, if you get caught there isn't anything I can do to help." She said all seriousness now on her face. Penny smiled gratefully.

"Oh really! Thank you so, so much!" She said and the nurse nodded again.

"Also, you can visit him anytime of the day, just not midnight." Trista said with a grin. Then she turned gave Penny a small wave and left.

Alone once more Penny stayed in the room for a good half hour, letting her thoughts wonder as she watched Sheldon's chest go up and down slowly. _He looks so peaceful, _she thought._ Oh Sheldon, please wake up, you have no idea how worried everyone is, Raj, Howard, Bernadette, me, even Amy! Oh Sheldon, if only you could read minds like all your superheroes in those comics you're always reading, _a smile came onto her face. _You know all superheroes wake up from there accidents Sheldon. . .and I could have sworn you were a superhero, so please, please! Wake up before Leonard does, he won't be able to handle it, but I know you could, you're strong Shelly! Please! I miss you!_ Penny hadn't realized she was shaking or crying until she looked down. Her thoughts were scrambled but she knew she shouldn't stay much longer. A nurse would come by soon and start asking questions and Penny doubted she would be as nice as the first. Besides she needed to get to Leonard, _there's no telling what that freaky nurse did to him. _And with that she stood up, heading towards the door, but only to turn around once more to look at him.

"Bye, Sheldon, I promise I'll come back, soon." She swallowed the lump in her throat, turned again and walked out the door.

A few minutes later she was back in familiar territory, cutting down hallways like she was a regular._ That or someone with an eidetic memory, _the sudden comparison made her heart clinch and she quickly changed her chain of thoughts. Without stopping, she hurriedly pushed Leonard's door open, only to come face to face with the nurse.

"Back so soon?" She asked looking slightly surprised. Penny frowned.

"I think you mean back so late." She said a bit haughtily. The nurse just stared at her.

"They did not have good food did they?" She said making a little tisk sound. Penny glared at her.

"No, they didn't, now if you don't mind; I'm back so you can go." She said folding her arms. The nurse shrugged.

"Ok, oh and he is alright, just a few bad dreams I think." She said motioning towards Leonard. "If they get really bad, just try talking to him, it should help." Penny stared at her for a moment, still confused.

"Uh, thanks?"

"You're welcome, oh and about your other friend, don't worry about him, he'll be ok, in time." Then without another word she turned and left. Silence filled the room until –

"Well, that wasn't freaky at all." Penny said glancing down at Leonard. "I don't know how you let her stay with you all that time." She frowned at her own comment, technically it was her fault she stayed with Leonard, but was Penny going to admit that out loud? Never.


	10. Phone calls and waiting

**A/N Thank you all for the reviews! I love each and every one of them! :) Anyway a little birdy told me that you guys liked the flash backs but that you also wanted Sheldon back, so here it is! I hope you all enjoy! **

Leonard had stayed silent as they moved down the hall and into the elevator. He didn't notice when the doors opened again to let them out or when Penny pushed him down various halls; little signs appearing here and there. He didn't see Penny stop and speak to one of the secretaries. Nor did he see Penny call someone on her phone. Leonard didn't look up as the sun hit him on his way out, the birds chirping too happily for the invisible cloud that loomed over his head. He didn't feel the bump as they headed towards one of the many cars in the parking lot. He didn't hear Penny call his name as she helped him into the car, buckling him down like a small child. Leonard stayed silent as they drove home.

Penny helped Leonard up the many flights of steps, stopping every now and then for him to catch his breath. Once they reached his door Penny shoved the key Leonard had long since given her into the whole, it unlocked with a click. Balancing the door open with her foot and managing to help Leonard in was a small task compared to what was ahead. But she stopped dead when an eerie silence seemed to fill the room. Leonard's eyes dodged to a certain spot on the couch, but then they quickly retreated to the floor. Penny could feel her heart clinch instantly, deciding quickly to maneuver him forward, towards his room.

Leonard hadn't said a word until Penny had helped into bed, managing out a little-

"Thank you, Penny" Before he fell silent once more. Penny smiled comfortingly.

"Do you want me to say?" She asked, not quite sure about what to do. Leonard shook his head.

"No thanks, um why don't you get some rest?" He said, sincerely concerned about her, but also feeling the need to be alone. Penny nodded.

"Okay, I'll be right across the hall if you need me." She joked but it left a hallow feeling in her, Leonard smiled, as fake as it was, it helped a little. Abruptly she stood up, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and then quickly turned and scooted out the door. Leonard counted five Mississippi's before he heard the front door open and then shut. He was alone, something Leonard was starting to think he was getting used to. The only sad thing was, he wasn't.

Leonard woke up a few hours later, his head pounding against his skull. He had, had another nightmare, only this time Mrs. Cooper was in it and she was yelling at him, screaming at him that this was all his fault, that he had ruined her perfect baby, her Shelly! Suddenly she grabbed a hold of his shirt and pushed him back violently his head hitting the wall hard. But that was when he woke up, his hand instantly reaching for his cranium. Taking a shaky breath he tried to sit up but instantly regretted it as a wave of nausea came over him. Sighing, he briefly wondered where Penny was. After awhile of sitting in the silence he picked up his phone.

Penny about dropped the bottle of wine in her hand as the familiar ring tone went off. Cursing loudly she placed the bottle back onto the table and hurriedly searched for her phone. She had only two glasses before deciding to screw the glass all together and drink from the bottle. Answering her phone she quickly spoke into the speaker.

"Leonard? Is everything ok? Are you okay?" She asked concern in her voice.

Leonard sighed heavily into the phone. "Yea, everything's okay . . ."

Penny waited, a frown forming on her face. "Are you sure, do you want me to come over?" As she said this she was already heading towards her door.

"Yea, yea I'm sure, I'm- I just-" Another loud sigh. Penny was out the door before he could continue. "Look I guess- it's just so quiet- and with everything that's happened and my head-

Penny pushed his door open on the last word coming to a sudden stop as their eyes connected.

"You came." He mumbled. Penny walked over and sat on his bed gently.

"Of course I came, Leonard we've been friends for years, and you're my boyfriend. There's no way I'm going to let you go through any of this on your own." She said sliding in beside him and placing a comforting arm around him. Leonard leaned into her slightly, grateful for the comfort but guilt was starting to rise inside him.

"But this is all my fault-" Penny quickly cut him off.

"None of this is any of your fault Leonard!" She said desperately, she knew he was blaming himself, even before he woke up she knew he would.

"But it is Penny! I put him there! I'm the reason he's in there, why he's still in there!" Leonard all but yelled.

"Leonard it wasn't you fa-"

"I should have been paying attention; I should have seen the semi! God! Why am I so stupid! Why couldn't I have just let it go like always instead of get mad, just that once!" He was yelling now, there was no other way to express it. "I mean it was just a question right? What harm could one damn question cause, huh? Apparently a car crash of epic proportions is what it can cause!" Leonard threw his arms up on the last word, his eyes staring fiercely back at Penny, who, was on the verge of tears again. Leonard stopped when he saw her face, his breath coming out raged and loud from his sudden outburst.

"Leonard I- I'm so sorry" Penny mumbled. Leonard frowned; he felt more like a jerk now than he ever had before.

"No, it – it's okay, Penny it's okay." He said pulling her into him, his arms encircling her protectively. "I'm sorry I yelled."

They stayed quiet for some time, until Leonard decide to break the silence.

"So, Howard and Raj? They're okay, right, I mean with everything's that happened so far." It was an unfair question, given the circumstances, but he had to know if they were just being nice when they saw him or pretending for his sake. Penny let out a sigh.

"Honestly Leonard I don't know how anyone could be 'Okay' but I guess if anyone could it's those two." She said with a quick smile. "But yea I think they handle it pretty good if not maturely considering it's them, but I think they're having a hard time with – with Sheldon, and you being gone from work and things." Leonard nodded he understood. "But they'll get better; soon enough, I'm sure of it." She said smiling slightly.

"What about Amy?" Leonard wasn't sure why he asked it, he just had. Penny suddenly looked pale, and Leonard could feel his gut clinch at the sight. "Penny?"

Penny sucked in a deep breath then quickly let it out. "Amy is – well, she's Amy, I mean she isn't Amy, Amy, but Amy – I mean- " A small sigh. "I mean she's taking it a lot better than I did, but she's still upset, Bernadette said that she had actually cried – I can't even imagine – she won't come out of her apartment, and she's refused to see Sheldon until he wakes up." Leonard waited for her to finish before frowning slightly, what if Sheldon never woke up, would that mean Amy would never go and see him, even if it was her last chance? Leonard quickly threw that thought aside choosing to ignore it as another question was eating at him.

"And – and Sheldon's mother, Mrs. Cooper?" This was it, the one question he had been dreading to hear, ever since he had known she was flying here.

Penny looked at him for a long moment, almost hesitating on weather or no to tell him; eventually she came to a decision. "Well, you already know she's coming –

"Does she hate me?" He suddenly blurted out.

"- No she doesn't hate you, Leonard look, when Sheldon's mom called me she was hysterical but she wasn't mad at you, she said that she was thanking Jesus that you both survived, she did not in any way say that she was mad, angry or disappointed in you. . . It wasn't even your fault."

Leonard found this all hard to believe but then again Mrs. Cooper had surprised him many times throughout the years, why should now be any different? _Because I put her son in a coma!_ He shook his head and looked back at Penny.

"Thanks, I really mean it." Penny smiled at him and rested her head on his shoulder. "How did I ever end up with a girlfriend as great as you?" He whispered, but Penny still heard him. Titling her head up she kissed him gently, there were no words to describe how happy she was to have him home. Within minutes they were both asleep.

Leonard was getting sick and tired of being woken up out of his sleep, but this time it wasn't a dream but rather a noise, a constant loud and almost obnoxious sound. Yet even through his grogginess he could still recognize Penny's ring tone. Penny quickly hopped out of bed and snatched up her phone answering it like it was some kind of life line. And maybe it was, for all Leonard knew.

"Hello? This she . . . really? Are you serious! This is great! . . Yea, yea, okay, yes we'll be right over" Penny quickly turned towards him, a huge smile stuck on her face.

"What?" He asked through the haze that was threatening his vision. Penny couldn't seem to contain her excitement.

"Leonard! Guess what! Sheldon's awake!" She squealed, tears brimming her eyes.

Within seconds, the haze in Leonard's eyes disappeared and he sat up straight, despite his head's protest. Joy suddenly seemed to encompass him as did an unexpected wave of nausea.


	11. Unprepared for an unexpected

**A/N Well I really hope you all enjoy this one! I know it's short and I'm really sorry, but my friend asked me to hurry up with the next chapter, so here it is! :) Thank you for the reviews! **

Leonard quickly jumped out of bed and ran to his bathroom. He had barely made it in time, diving his head into the toilet, only to have his breakfast stare back at him. He glowered as he leaned back, his head pounding in his ears. If walking wasn't really a good idea then running was certainly out of the question and yet here he was sitting on his bathroom floor upchucking the contents of his food. _Yup definitely not a good_ _idea_. The nausea was going away, but now he was feeling dizzy, suddenly he realized he wasn't alone. Penny stood in the doorway a look of worry planted on her face. She quickly walked over and grabbed a towel then she knelt down beside him and handed it to him. He murmured a quick 'thanks' and wiped his face. Penny smiled and started rubbing his back. After a few minutes the dizziness subsided and she helped him up. They walked to the couch where Penny deposited him and then went over into the kitchen. Leonard didn't dare look to his left; he simply shut his eyes and leaned back into the couch, letting out a loud sigh. Penny returned a few moments later with a glass of water.

They didn't really say much as they left the apartment. Penny quickly locked the door then they slowly worked their way down the stairs, stopping every few flights. It was sort of a blur for Leonard as Penny helped him into the car, only just a few hours ago he had been getting out, finally home after all that had happened. But Leonard was happy, no he was _ecstatic_, _Sheldon was awake!_ He just didn't know how to show it, or rather he didn't want to get his hopes up and have them crushed like they had so many times before. He frowned at the window. Penny was staying silent as well but there was no hiding the smile on her face. She kept sparing Leonard a few glances here and there, confusion and concern sliding onto her face as she noticed his frown.

They pulled swiftly into the parking lot of the hospital. Penny pulling her phone out as she helped him out the car. A few seconds later someone seemed to pick up.

"Hello? Penny, is everything ok?" A small voice asked through the speaker. _Bernadette!_ Leonard stared at the phone.

"Yea, yea everything's fine, but Bernadette guess what! Sheldon's awake!" Penny squealed happily. "So you can tell Amy to hurry up and get down here, before Leonard and I start to celebrate without her!" She joked, a grin forming on her face. She really was happy, and she could almost see Bernadette grinning through the phone as well.

"We'll be right over!" She said, then there was a sudden click fallowed by silence as she hung up. Penny slid her phone into her pocket and looked at him, grinning from ear to ear.

"Come on!" She said wrapping an arm around him as they hobbled up the sidewalk to the front doors.

Inside the place was crowded, then again it was later in the day and more and more people only seemed to show up. They quickly edged towards an elevator, trying to squeeze though a horde of coughing and sneezing people. Eventually they made it in and Penny pressed the all too familiar floor number. The elevator gave a start and then it began to ascend swiftly. Once the doors opened with a 'ding' they rushed out. Penny helped/pulled Leonard along as she, her self, was having a hard time containing her excitement.

A few minutes of walking down a maze of hallways and Leonard recognized the room number, _#472, this is it!_ He thought as he began to blink furiously, trying to keep himself composed. Penny stopped and they both looked at each other, she smiling like the Grinch while he tried to smile, but his worries kept getting in the way.

"Are you ready?" She asked her voice a bit shaky, obviously she wasn't nearly as confident as she looked. Leonard sucked in a deep breath.

"Yea. I- I think so." He said letting out a lungful of air.

"Let's do this." Penny said with a smirk as she quickly closed the distance between her and the door. Silently she turned the door handle and pushed it open; she stepped back briefly so that he could go in first. Yet even as Leonard slipped past her, he knew something was up, but nothing could have prepared him for what he was about to see.

**A/N Du Du Duuuu! Ohhhhh I know I'm so evil :p just playing, and don't worry it isn't nearly as bad as it sounds! **


	12. Pieces

**A/N Thank you for the reviews and I know it might seem like I'm drawing the suspense out and I kind of am, but don't worry it'll get better, I hope :P anyway I hope you enjoy!**

She was staring at him, they all were and Leonard could feel his face beginning to burn as the seconds ticked by. Mrs. Marry Cooper, the very woman Leonard had feared to see, regardless of what Penny had said earlier, was sitting in a chair beside the bed. She was wearing a bright summer dress, though that seemed to be the only thing bright in the room. Her hair was disheveled despite having just arrived, her face was pale and her eyes were red and puffy. Leonard thought she looked more like a grandmother than a mother, as if she had aged years within the last few months he had seen her. He could feel his stomach twist in guilt, his eyes quickly averting hers. They drifted around the room only to land on the next worse thing, Missy, Sheldon's twin sister. Missy didn't look nearly as bad, but her eyes were just as red, when Leonard looked at her, she looked away. Leonard felt sick, he wanted to turn tail and run, but a figure in the corner of the room caught his glance and he froze. A man, a tall man who could easily tower of Leonard was sitting in one of the chairs. He had light brown hair and ominous blue eyes, very similar to that of his roommates, only he had muscles. The guy was buff, Leonard would give him that much and his skin was darker; obviously he spent time out in the sun. Leonard didn't have to ask to know he was Sheldon's brother, George Jr.

Penny had been standing behind Leonard for quite some time, her eyes weaving between the people in the room. She had seen Leonard stiffen as soon as he had walked in, her concern getting the best of her and she had squeezed in behind him. She was planning on giving them a moment, but something was obviously wrong. Upon seeing the others she understood Leonard's surprise, her eyes straying to the unfamiliar man in the corner.

Leonard was feeling nauseous, he couldn't be here, he _shouldn't _be here. This was a family matter and he wasn't family. _Just remember, Leonard, where your biological family has failed you, you always have me, your surrogate family. _Sheldon's words rang out in his ears and he could feel his throat tighten. He faltered with his gaze and he eyes zeroed in on the figure in bed. _Sheldon?_

Raj had been sitting at his desk, his feet propped up in a lazy position. But as much as he had wanted to burry himself in his work, he couldn't, _it just doesn't feel right._ He sighed, why must life be so difficult. His eyes traveled over the many whiteboards they had set up around the room, an over whelming since of sadness and loss came over him. Within seconds he stood up, he couldn't do this, he couldn't solve the equation without him, _it just wouldn't be right! _He needed to get away from this place, _maybe the cafeteria?_ No, Howard wouldn't be off yet, and with just the two of them, the loss would be even more prominent. _Howard! That's it; I'll go and visit Howard!_ Visit wasn't really the right word though; bug would be more like it. _Hey! Anything to keep my mind off this place!_ And with that he quickly rushed out of the room and down a hall.

Penny's eyes flickered from the man in the corner to the man on the bed, she stifled a gasp. Sheldon was sitting up; or rather his bed was propped up in that way. His eye half open as the other was swollen shut. But he was definitely awake, his eye looking curiously between Leonard and her. Abruptly a movement off to her side caught Penny's attention and she suddenly realized that Trista was in the room. The woman was busily checking Sheldon's vitals, glancing at him every once in a while, a frown on her face. She wanted to run over to him, to give him the biggest hug he had ever experienced, but something about the way Sheldon was looking at them put her off and a frown of her on formed.

Howard was busily working in his lab, anything to keep his mind from wondering. Of course he had given that hope up when Raj entered the room. His foreign friend had been a real mess lately and frankly he wasn't doing much better. So when Raj had asked if he could stay awhile, Howard was more than happy to have the company. At the moment however, Raj was messing with one of his tools and it was starting to get on his nerves. With a slight frown he took the tool away from him.

"Hey? What was that for?" He asked, Howard scowled at him.

"I don't know if maybe you haven't noticed, but I'm trying to work here!" He growled. Raj frowned and looked away. Only to pick up another tool a few minutes later.

"So what does this do?" He asked, Howard glanced up at him, at the moment he was trying to reattach a component back onto NASA's latest robot.

"Oh, you know, one of those thingamabobs that helps with another . . .thingamabob." He said with a frown. Raj just looked at him, unconvinced.

"Uh huh, so you have absolutely no idea what it is or does?" He said raising an eyebrow.

"Nope, no idea." Howard said going back to his robot.

"Huh, so if I press this button here then –"

"NO!" Howard yelled reaching over and grabbing the tool from him. Raj flinched back in surprise.

"Dude! What's the problem?"

"Don't. Touch. Anything." Howard grumbled taking the tool far away and setting it down.

"Why? It's not like I was actually going to press the button?" Raj said getting up. Howard glanced over his shoulder at him.

"Doesn't matter, look Raj I know you're upset about everything that's going on, so am I. But I really need you to be quiet so I can finish this robot and NASA can finally pay my paycheck, okay?"

"Fine, but NASA doesn't pay your paychecks, the university does." Howard sent him a quick glare and Raj shut his mouth, reluctantly if so. Silence filled the room for a good half hour and Raj was starting to wonder if maybe he should have just stayed in his office when all of the sudden Howards phone went off. With a sigh of frustration he fished around in his pants for it.

"Oh for goodness sake, at the rate I'm going NASA's never going to get their robot back – hey! It's my girlfriend, Bernadette!" He said a smile instantly lighting up his face. Raj shook his head but leaned in a little close so that he could hear.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Bernadette slow down! I can't – you're speaking to fast! Okay? Yea, yea that's much better AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S AWAKE?" Howard yelled. Raj had been standing so close to him that he jumped and covered his ear in alarm, shooting Howard a quick glare.

"Dude! You just yelled in my ear!" Raj shot back.

"Uh, sorry about that Bernadette Raj is trying to eavesdrop – " He said sending him a smug look "-uh huh, yea, yea, of course, we'll be right over, yea I love you to, bye!" He quickly pocketed his phone and looked at his best friend, who was currently covering his ear.

"Raj, you'll never guess what just happened?"

"Let me guess, you've lost it and now my ear drum is bleeding?" He said frowning.

"No! Sheldon is awake! Bernadette and Amy are heading there right now and Leonard and Penny are already there!"

Without waiting another second Raj snatched up his jacket, which he had taken off earlier due to the extreme heat in the engineer's room.

"Well, what are we waiting for, let's go!" He said over his shoulder. The two quickly left the room and rushed out of the building.

**A/N I just thought it would be cool to jump from character to character, trying something new, anyway tell me what you think, if you don't like it I'll probably go back to the way it was before, thanks! :)**


	13. Forgetmenot

**A/N Thanks for the reviews :) I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

He could tell something wasn't right, he could feel it inside him, like an internal alarm was going off. Leonard was staring at Sheldon; his eyes locked on one blue eye. Everything around him seemed to disappear as he stood there, the little alarm banging around inside his head. _Do something!_ It screeched. So Leonard moved forward, he moved so close that had he not stopped, he probably would have run into Mrs. Cooper. Mary's eyes hadn't left him and suddenly she stood up, catching everyone in the room off guard.

"Leonard!" She said running towards him and wrapping her arms tightly around him. "You're alright; oh thank the lord and heavenly Jesus!" Leonard blinked, completely frozen as she embraced him, but slowly he moved his arms up and around her. Penny couldn't help but smile as she saw this, _maybe this won't be so bad after all?_ She thought. Abruptly though they parted and Mrs. Cooper held him at arm's length looking him over with concern.

"Well heavens Leonard, you look like just as bad as I do." She said shaking her head. "Here have a seat, you to sweetie, George be a gent and let this pretty little lady have your seat." Mary said gesturing for Penny to come closer, she did. Silently George got up and gave her his seat. Penny took it without a word; she couldn't believe that with all that was going on Mrs. Cooper would still be showing hospitality, it was unreal. Though she seemed to be the only one, Missy on the other hand had her head down and her eyes planted firmly on the floor a grim look on her face. George just stood awkwardly in the corner his eyes dodging around the room uncomfortably. Trista was ignoring everyone as she scribbled little things down on a clip bored. Mrs. Cooper suddenly turned towards her.

"Um, miss, when do you think the doctor will get here?" She asked, hopefulness lighting in her eyes. Trista looked at her sadly.

"Any minute now, Mrs. Cooper." She said, quickly glancing at Penny with a worried expression. Penny didn't like that. Leonard was quiet as the whole exchange took place; he had sat down in Mrs. Cooper's chair as she was now pacing around the room fretfully.

"Ma, don't worry; everything's going to be fine, the Doc will be here any minute." George said softly, it was the first time Leonard had ever heard him speak and already his Texas accent was thick within his words. But his voice wasn't gruff as he spoke to Mrs. Cooper, it was calm and gentle. Mary just nodded in response.

Suddenly Sheldon's eyes flashed towards him, and Leonard froze. Confusion and uncertainty seemed to linger there. He felt a sudden urge to say something.

"Hey buddy?" It was the only thing he could think of, but his voice sounded strange to him, almost foreign. Sheldon didn't even blink as he looked at him, as if his words hadn't registered.

Unexpectedly the door to the room was pushed open and in stepped a tall man with light brown hair, _Dr. Shoultz, how unexpected. _Leonard thought, he almost wanted to roll his eyes. He wasn't sure why but something about the guy just annoyed him. Trista immediately walked over to him and handed him that clip bored. Penny frowned.

"Dr. Shoultz, you're Sheldon's doctor too?" She asked, he nodded, his eyes quickly going over the clip bored. Suddenly he strolled over to Sheldon's side.

"Hello Mr. Cooper, I'm Dr. Shoultz." He briefly flashed a smile. "I know it's probably too soon to tell, but how do you feel?" He asked and Sheldon seemed to give it some true thought.

"Well, at the moment I feel fine, sept' my head really hurts." His accent thick as he spoke. Everyone in the room stared at him, except Dr. Shoultz who was jotting something down.

"Uh huh, and do you think you could point to where the pain is strongest?" Sheldon nodded pointing to the front, back and sides of his head. Shoultz frowned.

"So everywhere?" He asked and Sheldon again nodded. Leonard was looking at him funnily; normally Sheldon would have just said 'everywhere' or given a specific location. _Something isn't right!_ The alarm yelled.

"Uh huh, and just one more question Mr. Cooper, but how many of these people, here, do you recognize." Silence filled the room as Sheldon peered around. A few minutes passed and he still hadn't said anything. Mary Cooper put a hand to her mouth a small gasp erupting from her. Missy just stared at him with shock and George looked away with a frown. Penny looked just as shocked as Missy and eventually she glanced at Leonard. Leonard was frozen to the spot, he couldn't think or do anything, but wait.

"Mr. Cooper?"

"I – I, that's my mother." He said pointing to Marry, who suddenly clapped her hands together in joy. "And my sister – and my brother." He said looking between Missy and George, who both looked relived. Sheldon's eyes flew towards Penny. "I – I don't know her." Leonard could feel his heart sink, and he closed his eyes briefly. _No_. When he opened them again he could see that Penny was shattered, she was trying so hard not to cry, Leonard wanted to run over and comfort her, but Dr. Shoultz cut him off.

"What about him?" He asked motioning towards Leonard after he gave Penny a sympathetic look. Sheldon looked at Leonard and he seemed to really think about it. Leonard mentally crossed his fingers.

"I don't know him either." And with just those words, Leonard's world came crashing down around him once more.


	14. New mind, same body, twisted thoughts

**A/N First of I just want to say that I am so so so so sooo sorry for just leaving things the way I did, I really am going to finish this story and I hope you all don't hate me for it! I've just been really busy lately with other stories and writers block would NOT leave me alone! Anyway I might go away again soon since school is about ready to start again, but I promise I won't leave for as long as I did before. I really am sorry! Okay I'll shut up now :) and thank you for everyone who puts up with me and my lateness! **

There was a strange sort of dizziness that fallowed with the silence. The kind one might get after fighting a long battle, or an insane ride that leaves you breathless but wanting for more. These were all good examples for the simple minded, but Leonard wasn't simple minded, hell he has an IQ of 173.

So when those words registered in his brain, the time span taking as long as 1.2 seconds, Leonard knew, could _feel_, his world smashing, crashing, and finally tumbling down right on top of him. If he had been standing, he was certain he would have fallen to the floor.

Dr. Shoultz shook his head and frowned at his clip bored. "I think that's all Mr. Cooper," He motioned for Trista. "Miss. Benson will take things over from here, Mrs. Cooper a word please." He gestured for her to fallow him. Trista moved to the side of the bed. "You need anything baby, you just call, alright?" Sheldon nodded. Mary slowly fallowed Dr. Shoultz towards the door, her eyes scanning the room for help. Missy and George both quickly stood beside their mother, making it obvious that wherever she went they went too. Dr. Shoultz just nodded and walked out the door, the Coopers fallowing.

When the door closed the silence didn't get any better, with anything it got worse. Penny held her head in her hands, he body hunched over slightly in her chair. Leonard couldn't see nor hear her but he knew she was crying. For some reason he wasn't, though he was sure the tears would come later. He just glanced up at Trista almost expecting her to explain everything to him, like a small child.

And to his surprise she started to speak, her voice soft and gentle. "Don't worry, everything's not as bad as it seems, the Doctor just wants to level with them, soften up the blow in a way." Leonard frowned.

"What _is _wrong with him?" Though he guessed he already knew the answer. Trista looked sullen. "He has amnesia." She sighed. "These things happen though, especially with coma patients." Her eyes flew towards Penny. "I'm really sorry you all had to be here for this, maybe it would have been better if we'd phoned." Leonard shook his head.

"No, I _need _to be here, I should have never left." He looked away now, trying to keep his emotions under control. Trista walked over to him. "Listen – it's Leonard right?" He nodded. "Listen Leonard, he's going to be okay, memory loss is actually an improvement with all things considered. He could still be unconscious, or awake but not aware. But he's got both of those things and more. Just give him time, that's all he needs, it'll come back and before you know it everything will be back to normal, he just needs time."

Leonard thought about this, thought good and hard and he came to the conclusion that she was right. Maybe things weren't so terrible after all, maybe all Sheldon needed was time. Suddenly something in his mind set shifted, it changed and it reestablished itself. A firm but gentle look came onto his face. _Sheldon is going to need time, but he's also going to need help, I mean look at the guy_, Leonard flinched mentally, _I'll fix this, I'll help Sheldon and maybe if he's around us enough his memory will come back faster? Kill two birds with one stone. _Sighing with little satisfaction he glanced up at Trista.

"Thank you." She smiled down at him

"Don't you worry any, he'll be fine, but you better take good care of her." She swung her head in Penny's direction. Leonard nodded again, the sudden urge to go and comfort her coming across him. But before he was out of his seat the door opened and in stepped the Coopers and Dr. Shoultz. Poor Mary was crying her eyes out again and Leonard quickly hopped up giving her his seat. He walked over and stood beside Penny his hand rubbing small circles into her back. It was then that Leonard noticed Sheldon had been awake the whole time, not only that but now he was staring at him. Feeling slightly uncomfortable he looked down. But just as quickly he felt ashamed. _Come on! What's the matter with you? It's only Sheldon, your best friend? Or had you forgotten?_ He frowned at the floor. _What? Of course not!_ _Oh yea sure!_ He was glaring now; it seemed two parts of him were fighting. _You forgot just admit it! NO! I did not – will not forget! Uh hu, sure kind of like the way he forgot you? _ That did it Leonard wanted to slam his head against a wall just to shut those thoughts up. But he didn't instead he looked up his eyes unwillingly landing on Missy.

"Um, excuse me." He said awkwardly. His feet suddenly had a mind of their own as they lead him towards the door. Naturally he felt bad about leaving, especially Penny, but he couldn't stop. Not when he reached the door, not when he shut it with a painful click, not even when he paced the hall way for few seconds in complete silence. Then like in a dream he sat down with his back pressed against the wall, his knees pulled up to his chest. And Leonard Leakey Hofstadter began to cry.


	15. Lapse

The day had started of perfect, at least in his mind it had. Waking up without a worry for the day's equation, he was sure Raj would be impressed. Breakfast had been okay; Leonard still sleepy eyed standing next to him. They had to hurry down the stairs though, he was too afraid they might be late. The car ride was relatively silent, but that was fine with him. He enjoyed the silence. So when Leonard shifted uncomfortably beside him, he knew the other physicist was going to say something. What he hadn't known was that he was going to mention Amy, or worse, _him_ and Amy. Not that there was anything wrong with the two of them, they were the perfect couple in his eyes. But to talk about it with Leonard? Especially in this way? How could Leonard think like that? He was beginning to get frustrated and he could see Leonard was to. Their conversation wasn't going anywhere; he'd wished it'd just be over. But in his frustration came his nervousness and he began to give directions to their work place. He knew Leonard knew how to get there; hell he had driven him there for years now. Yet he couldn't stop, so when Leonard's voice rose he just wished he'd never spoken.

Then he saw it, the light changed, yellow residing over the rest. But the car didn't slow down, he could feel it and when the nose of a semi showed itself, panic set in. His voice faltered mid sentence and he reached up for the safety handle, his body tensing; he found he was yelling – at Leonard – his other hand grabbed for the seat and he braced himself. For a split second his eyes connected with the driver of the other vehicle. It seemed they almost had a sort of understand for what was about to happen. Time slowed down then, the other driver visibly trying to slam on his breaks.

Then just as fast, time picked up and it sped up as the front of the semi crashed into the side of Leonard's car. It sent them both flying forward, his head bouncing onto the dashboard. He closed his eyes tightly and felt something crush his leg, a strange numbness resonating throughout it. The car jarred again its body twisting violently and he let out a yelp of pain when his window shattered, pieces of glass flying every which way, one slicing right above his eye. The top of the car seemed to cave inwards and the air bag pressed harshly into him. For a split second in all of this madness he tried to see if Leonard was okay, but his roommate was out cold, or at least he'd hoped he was out. Then came the final blow as the car rolled down hill, his body being twisted with it, his head hitting the window shield hard and that was it. The numbness took over and so did a looming darkness.

It was an awkward and strange place to be, the darkness. But it wasn't terrifying, if anything it got him away from the real terror of going back to that painful mess. There were voices surrounding him, or were they just noises that appeared here with him? He tried to understand to make since of it, but nothing did, it was as if someone had taken his beautiful brain with all their wonderful thoughts and locked it away, taking the key with them. After a while the noises stopped and oddly enough he didn't like the silence that fallowed. And then they would come back, shortly staying and leaving quickly. He began to wonder if he'd ever get out, if this was all that was left for him now. But what had happened? How had he ended up here? It seemed so simple, like it was right on the tip of his tongue, yet the more he tried to remember the more the thought would evade him.

Then came one voice, it was strange and broken. It told him not to give up, begged him. He felt he should know this voice, but neither face nor name came to him. Another thing accrued to him then, this voice it spoke like it didn't expect to be answered, just heard. So with an intense fury he wanted to yell out, to say that he was right here. But he couldn't his lips wouldn't move, his eyes wouldn't allow the light to come in. His body was nothing. Sadness crept in and an almost depressed feeling began to take root and grow inside him. He was alone, and he Sheldon Lee Cooper didn't like that, not one bit.

'It' was extraordinary though, this thing that had happened to him. One moment he had given up all hope and then the next it had just appeared, as if all his silent prying had finally paid off. Light. It appeared like a beacon then gradually it got larger, until it consumed his whole vision. Different colors started to appear and shapes took form. A loud ringing in his ears began. And a face hovered over him. It was speaking to him. Then another face appeared, and began to speak to him to. Overwhelmed he tried to get away but found that most of his body wasn't responding. The ringing subsided and he could finally understand them.

"Oh! Shelly bean you're awake! Oh, don't you worry baby mama's here."

The other. "Mr. Cooper, welcome back, how are you feeling?"

Mama? Was this woman his mother? No it couldn't be his mother was young and her face wouldn't be lined so. But then why would she have called him that, Shelly bean, only his family ever called him that. And this other woman who was she, asking if he felt alright? He wasn't sure what to do so instead he just laid there his eyes roaming the room.

"Shelly?"

"Mr. Cooper?"

No response. Both women looked at each other. "What's wrong with him? Something's wrong ain't it? Oh nurse! Please tell me you can fix this!" The other woman just looked helplessly about. His eyes strayed to a young woman and young man both standing nearby. It was then that faces and names started to form, but not much. The woman though she looked very familiar, seemed way too old for her to be who he thought she was, as did the man.

"Mr. Cooper?" He glanced towards the lady who he now knew as the nurse. "How are you feeling?" Should he talk? Respond to this strange parallel he found himself in. Then again it's always better to be honest? That's what his mother taught him.

"I feel . . . okay." The nurse nodded.

"Good that means the medication is working." She smiled gently. "Mr. Cooper, you're in the Pasadena State Hospital. You were in a car crash and have severely hit your head." She debriefed him of the rest of his injures and his condition. In all honesty he was shocked though, so shocked that he didn't feel all the bruises or cuts or broken bones in his body. _A_ _car crash? How? What? This doesn't make any since. How come I don't remember? What happened before – I can't remember! Why can't I remember!? _ Numbness and pain medication is what kept him from panicking at the time. Then she explained to him that she needed to run some test and that the doctor would be in soon. The other woman, the one who claimed to be his mother sat in a chair close to him. It was then that he understood. She _was_ his mother, and the young woman and man _were_ his brother and sister. He began to panic now, something was wrong, how come he couldn't remember them this way. He wracked his brain mentally and tried to recall them but whenever he did they looked much younger. His twin couldn't have been any more than thirteen. Suddenly the door opened and in stepped another young man and woman. And again he didn't know who they were, but his mother seemed to. She jumped up and gave them both a giant hug. Then the man came over and took his mother's seat. Sheldon took in his appearance but didn't say a word. Unlike with his family there was no sense of familiarity with this guy or the young lady. That troubled him slightly. His mother began to talk; it was obvious she was nervous as she rung her hands and paced across the room. The other man spoke to him suddenly, calling him buddy. Had Sheldon been moving he would have frozen at the man's voice. It was strange and it was broken, just like the voice from before. The door opened abruptly and in stepped another man, it was clear he was the doctor. He spoke to Sheldon briefly asking him the usual questions, then he asked if he knew who these people were. It was a question he instantly dreaded. He glanced around helplessly for a few seconds, what could he say? He finally pointed to the older woman.

"I-I, that's my mother." The woman looked pleased and clasped her hands together. He looked towards the young man and woman "And my sister – and my brother." It was the truth right? Well sort of, if his mother had never told him who she was he probably wouldn't have known. He paled suddenly, that was a disturbing thought, did he really not even know who his mother was? No, no he did, he just – didn't recognize her – yeah! Yeah, that was it, he just didn't recognize her – or his siblings. But what about the other two? No, he didn't know them.

"I- I don't know her." And just like that he'd wished he hadn't said anything because the look that she gave him was almost heart breaking. The poor thing looked like she had been punched in the gut. He averted he gaze choosing to look at his sheets. The doctor was speaking again.

"What about him." His eye fallowed to where he was pointing. The other man, he looked so sad almost as sad as the woman. He also looked really tired and there were a few cuts and bruises visible on his skin. He briefly wondered where he'd gotten them. But his mind was desperately trying to figure out who he was. Were they friends? Neighbors? Work colleagues? He didn't know, but he _wanted_ to.

"I don't know him either." Well now he felt even worse because whatever little hope the other guy was hanging onto was gone now and it was all because of him. The doctor frowned.

"I think that's all Mr. Cooper." He turned towards the nurse. "Miss. Benson will take things over from here, Mrs. Cooper a word please." Then he motioned for his mother, his siblings fallowing. The nurse walked over to him. "You need anything baby, you just call, alright?" He nodded, his eyes still avoiding the other two. Suddenly the man looked up at the nurse almost pleadingly.

""Don't worry, everything's not as bad as it seems, the Doctor just wants to level with them, soften up the blow in a way." She said. He frowned slightly. _Blow? What blow?_

"What _is _wrong with him?" The other man asked.

""He has amnesia." She said sadly. _Amnesia? Ah hah! I knew there was a cause for my memory loss!_ "These things happen though, especially with coma patients." She looked towards the other woman. "I'm really sorry you all had to be here for this, maybe it would have been better if we'd phoned."

"No, I _need _to be here, I should have never left." _Never left? So he had been here before, does that mean he was the one I heard, the voice in the dark?_ Sheldon was slightly touched; whoever he was they must have been really close.

"Listen – it's Leonard right?"_ Leonard?_ The man – Leonard – nodded. ""Listen Leonard, he's going to be okay, memory loss is actually an improvement with all things considered. He could still be unconscious, or awake but not aware. But he's got both of those things and more. Just give him time, that's all he needs, it'll come back and before you know it everything will be back to normal, he just needs time."

Leonard seemed to consider her words. Sheldon on the other hand was trying to absorb everything that was going on. So he was going to be okay, memory loss isn't permanent, he knew that. But how long would it take?_ Weeks? Months? Years?_ That last thought made him cringe inwardly. What if he never fully regained all of his memory?

"Thank you." Leonard said.

The nurse smiled "Don't you worry any, he'll be fine, but you better take good care of her." She motioned towards the other lady. After a minute Leonard got up and walked over to her. At the same moment his family and Dr. Shoultz came back in, his mother crying. Suddenly Leonard looked up and their eyes – well his eye – meet. Then almost shyly Leonard looked away. _Hmm . . ._ Sheldon didn't know what to make of that. Abruptly Leonard looked like he was in pain.

"Um, excuse me." He said as he proceeded to walk towards the door. Within seconds he was gone, and an eerie silence filled the room, aside from his mother's quiet sobs. He looked over at her and reached his hand out. She looked at him almost surprisingly but then took it gratefully. She might not have been the mother he remembered but she was still his mom.

**A/N Ehh yea, not the best chapter ever but I hope you guys like it, I'm still trying to get over my writers block. Things seem to be coming out in long choppy sentences :( anyway thanks for the reviews everyone! Love them! **


	16. The Text of Doom

Penny had been staring at the floor for a while now, almost as if she was trying to memorize every line and crack in it. She felt the same little buzz go off in her pocket once more, sighing she reached in to grab it. Making way to turn her phone off, she was much too tired to care who had messaged her, she froze mid movement. The screen read, _1_ _Message Inbox: Bernadette, _Penny quickly opened it up, only to have her heart sink even further. Bernadette was here and she had brought Amy. _Of course she had brought Amy, why wouldn't she? She's Sheldon's girlfriend . . . or was?_ She shook her head then, no she couldn't think like that, just because Sheldon didn't remember her didn't mean he wouldn't remember Amy, right? In a flash Penny felt panic rise in her gut, the message had been sent a good few minutes ago, meaning they could walk in at any moment. Well suffice to say Penny didn't think she could handle her own heart break but to see Amy's? No, she wouldn't allow it, at least not yet, not until she was sure. Standing up suddenly she glanced at the door almost fleetingly. An anger started to boil inside her, how could Leonard just walk out and leave her here like this? She couldn't blame him really, but that didn't mean it didn't hurt. Not even bothering to look at the rest of the Cooper family she marched over to the door, swung it open and stepped out.

Her eyes landed on Leonard in an instant and had she not looked down she might have stepped on him. He was sitting on the floor, his back pressed against the wall and his head was in his hands. The man looked broken or at least something close to it. He wasn't crying now but Penny could guess he had been before. Felling her anger melt she quickly sat down beside him. He didn't move to look up at her as she pulled him into a hug.

"Leonard?"

Leonard glanced up, his eyes rimmed with red.

"Penny, I am so, so sorry." He whispered, voice cracking at the end. Penny tried to smile.

"It's okay Leonard, it's okay, hey it's good news right? Sheldon's awake and that's all that matters."

Leonard nodded weakly; he knew he shouldn't be taking it that hard, hell, Penny was right! Sheldon was awake and he seemed fine other than the relapse in his memory, but that could be fixed to. So what was the big deal? Before Leonard could go any further with his thoughts he felt Penny stiffen beside him. Looking up, he immediately understood her reason for distress. There walking or in this case practically running down the hall in excitement was Raj, Bernadette, Howard, and Amy.

**A/N So this has to be the shortest chapter I've written, but this little scene has been sitting in my head for a while now and I just had to write it. Anyway I hope you enjoy! Thanks again! :) **


	17. Knowing

**A/N First off I just wanted to say thank you to Dabzzygirl, you were right it is lapse, lol I had originally put that but then stupid me was all like 'well hey, relapse sounds better, doesn't it?' :P not really, but thank you for saying something, sometimes it's hard when you doubt yourself on grammatical errors. Anyway I'll shut up now so you can enjoy this chapter, thanks again for all the reviews and I'm really thankful for those of you that have been putting up with my late ass-ness on updating. Also I feel as though I should have put this in here earlier, I do not own the Big Bang Theory or any of the characters, except the OOC's. Enjoy! **

Amy had this certain way of knowing. She'd always had a special talent with it; learning and knowing had been her life so far, up to a certain point of course. That point had a name though, it started with an s and it ended with an r. But it hadn't always been like that. Growing up Amy had wanted nothing more than to be accepted, to have friends and boyfriends. She wanted to go parties and have fun, she didn't always want to stay inside and know. And it was something of a curse, a great and wonderful curse that had set her up with a man, a man who would become her boyfriend. She had landed herself a friend, a bestie even and she wasn't so different anymore. No, she had friends, she had a boyfriend, and late at night she'd go to parties with these friends or she'd go on a date with her boyfriend. And life was good, great even.

But then that curse, that god awful curse had snuck up on her and she didn't like it, didn't like knowing. So when she'd gotten the call, when she'd knew, known, did she throw her phone across the room? Did she reach for the wall in terror, to afraid that if she let go, she'd lose everything? Did tears run down her face as her hands began to shake? Did she feel numb or an uncontrollable pain in her chest? Did she know, did she really truly know that he'd be ok?

She didn't know, and that fact alone scared her more than anything else.

But Amy could see the look of terror on her "bestie's" face, the sad almost sympathetic glance Leonard had given her, and she stopped. Raj, Bernadette and Howard walked on a few feet before they too stopped. Bernadette glanced back.

"Amy? Amy what's wrong?" Her smile was vanishing, concern lingering in her eyes.

Amy looked from between Penny and Leonard, a sinking feeling rising to her chest.

"He's not awake is he?" She asked her voice just barely above a whisper.

Howard and Raj exchanged a worried glance and Penny suddenly got up, rushing towards her. She enveloped Amy in a giant hug and it took almost all her strength not to cry.

"No, no Ames he's awake." Penny said quickly. Amy looked up at her frowning.

"Then what's wrong?"

Bernadette, Raj and Howard had come close now; no one seemed to notice that Leonard was still on the floor. Penny looked back, her eyes meeting Leonard's, she couldn't do it, she couldn't tell her. That was all it took though, Leonard got up, walked over to them and stood beside Penny. Amy was feeling dread now, terrible thoughts running through her head.

"Amy," Leonard started, but let out a sigh. "Amy, Sheldon has amnesia."

At first it was like a huge weight had been lifted off, he wasn't hurt, at least not terribly; she had to admit she'd been expecting worse. But then her mind started to process what Leonard had said and a new feeling was taking over her.

"What do you mean he has amnesia?"

Penny looked at Leonard but the man couldn't bring himself to break eye contact with her.

"He doesn't remember . . . things."

"What kind of things?"

Damn why did she have to keep asking questions.

"Places, routines, his job . . .people."

"What people?"

Damn it, Amy stop, stop it right now, this isn't going to help.

". . ."

"Leonard?"

No Amy, just no. Can't you see Leonard's having a hard enough time as it is?

But she wanted to know.

"Leonard?"

Leonard looked down at his feet, hands shaking slightly in his nervousness.

"Amy Sheldon doesn't remember me." And his voice shook. "He doesn't remember Penny either."

Damn. Now she knew.

"So you're saying he probably won't remember me, or Bernadette or Raj or Howard?" It all came out in a rush.

"Probably." But Leonard's 'probably' sounded an awful lot like 'defiantly'.

She nodded taking this all in. Well it _could_ be worse, but what did this mean? If Sheldon didn't know her, didn't know any of them, what did that mean? She was certain he'd regain his memory eventually, but in the meantime, then what?

"I want to see him." She stated. Leonard looked at Penny and sighed.

"Yea, okay Amy." Penny said looping her arm through hers and leading her to the door. Leonard lagged back while Bernadette fallowed silently behind Amy and Penny. They paused at the door briefly but only for Penny to quickly explain that Sheldon's family was inside as well. Amy visibly nodded but didn't say a word as she pushed the door open. The three of them slipped inside quietly, the door shutting with a loud click. Leonard stared at the door for a moment, lost in thought. He suddenly felt a hand on either side of his shoulders and he glanced back. Raj and Howard were on either side of him. Neither of them said anything, but Raj kept wiping his face and Howard couldn't look at anywhere but the floor. Leonard sighed at the awkward silence they stood in, but no one moved, and Howard and Raj seemed content with not letting go of him. It was little comfort, but he'd take any he could. He just hopped Amy would be alright, she'd seemed to take it a lot better than He or Penny had, so that was good. But maybe it hadn't hit her yet? Maybe she didn't believe him? Is that why she wanted to see him, because she didn't trust him enough to tell her the truth? No, that wasn't it, Amy trusted him, he knew that. His mind back tracked. Maybe she didn't know? Didn't know what this meant now? Sheldon didn't remember her meaning in his mind they'd never met, meaning they weren't going out, they weren't even friends. At least not in Sheldon's head. He sighed, no she didn't know, because if she had, she wouldn't have gone in. She would've thrown her phone across the room, reached for the wall, and her hands would begin to shake as tears rolled down her face, and that uncontrollable pain in her chest would come back.

Damn her for not knowing.

**A/N Yea so this Ch. might seem a bit confusing with the whole know, and knowing crap, but yea, I'm sorry if I confused you and I'd be happy to answer any questions you guys have. Also when Leonard gives reference to Sheldon not knowing places or remembering his daily routines, that isn't necessarily true, anyway, he just made some stuff up to delay the inevitable. Please review! I love them! Thanks again! And don't worry the sad dramatic stuff is about to go away soon, and we get to see Sheldon become, UNsheldoned! :P p.s. Happy Halloween everyone! **


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